#in the 2000s a few states decided to go back to high school

[kyistell]

May I request NY angst hc’s? 👁️👁️

*🩴 (iykyk)*

Ask and thou shall receive. It’s not as many as I probably could have done but apperently when I have to do angst all my creative skills go out the window lolz

New York-

Never wears a shirt with sleeves shorter than elbow length, something something the British

Hates being in confined spaces without someone whos trusted, so Jersey and Mass

Yeaahhh his parents abandoned him to his grandparents, and he was abandoned or left behind multiple times during the war, so if he’s alone for too long he goes straight into a panic attack

Martial. Law. (The damn British)

Was on a class trip in NYC when the towers got towered with NJ and Rhode, watched the first tower get hit and then he woke up half a month later

Kidnapped and murdered multiple times, you know, normal colonial times

He’ll never admit it in any serious capacity but Action Park seriously traumatized him, he has not properly gone swimming at a park since

When he does sleep he doesn’t normally dream, when he does dream it’s always nightmares about pretty much his entire life, honestly he really needs therapy

[lgihtspeed]

Prior to her appearance on IGNITE!, VIOLET debuted twice. Her first group lasted nine months. Her second group lasted three—in hindsight, that one might have been a scam. Lightspeed will last eleven. It seems to be a pattern with her. She was first interested in becoming an idol at the age of thirteen. Highly inspired by second generation girl groups like SNSD and T-ara, she began to learn how to sing and dance. At seventeen, Violet moved to South Korea to pursue her dream, against her parents’ wishes. She has not spoken to them in eight years.

IGNITE! was truly her last chance. After nearly a decade of trying and failing to be an idol, she was almost ready to call it quits. That was when Violet learned of the show from her older sister. After breezing through the audition and early stages of the show, her professionalism and obvious desperation helped her secure second place, and a spot in Lightspeed.

KNOWN FOR: Saying “I don’t know any boy groups except BTS and EXO” (as a joke?). Being the only person to give a thank you speech in Korean. Hitting an extremely high whistle note while watching a video of her first group’s debut stage.

STAGE NAME : Violet

FULL NAME : Violet Quyên Lâm

BIRTHDAY : June 30, 1997

BIRTHPLACE : Calgary, Alberta, Canada

HOMETOWN : Calgary, Alberta, Canada

ETHNICITY : Vietnamese

NATIONALITY : Canadian

FACE CLAIM : Jun Vũ

ASH was born Jang Dohyun in Seoul, South Korea, before moving to the US to live with the rest of his extended family when he was less than a year old. He picked the name Ash for himself when he started going to school and none of his teachers could pronounce his name. As a teenager, the rise of the Hallyu wave in the West led to his interest in kpop and kdramas, and became his way of reconnecting with the country he was born in. As a college student, he took this one step further with his participation in UCLA’s kpop cover dance team, where he met Tyler.

While on IGNITE!, his rank rose steadily throughout the second half of the show. Although a good enough performer, he was seen more as comic relief and a moodmaker than a serious contender for the winning group. He was also popular for his constant promotion of his family’s Koreatown bakery instead of himself. In the finale, his rank skyrocketed from seventh to second, surprising Ash most of all. He is Lightspeed’s leader in name and not much else.

KNOWN FOR: Promoting his family’s bakery more than himself. Re-editing his profile pictures and posting them to his Instagram after the show. Writing “fre sha vaca do” as his catchphrase.

STAGE NAME : Ash

FULL NAME : Dohyun Jang

BIRTHDAY : July 9, 1999

BIRTHPLACE : Seoul, South Korea

HOMETOWN : Los Angeles, California, USA

ETHNICITY : Korean

NATIONALITY : American

FACE CLAIM : Serim Park

TW: Death

TYLER was the only survivor of the major car accident that killed his parents and older brother. At the age of two, he spent a few months as a ward of the state of Illinois before being adopted by an older childless white couple. He spent most of his life on the family farm, before jumping ship to Los Angeles for college, where he met Ash on the UCLA kpop cover dance team.

In his first semester of grad school—because what else is he doing with his bachelor’s degree in psychobiology?—he auditioned for IGNITE!, seeing it as another opportunity to avoid returning to the farm. In hindsight, it was an extremely good decision, even if all of his embarrassing stan Twitter tweets were dragged into the limelight. As a competitor, Tyler was popular for his confidence and the dance skills to back up whatever grandstanding statements he decided to make.

KNOWN FOR: Freestyling his entire initial audition. Somehow continuing to tweet while filming IGNITE! Dapping up Ash every episode.

STAGE NAME : Tyler

BIRTH NAME : Tyler Ryuji Igarashi

FULL NAME : Tyler Wilfred Ryuji Lewis

BIRTHDAY : March 3, 2000

BIRTHPLACE : Chicago, Illinois, USA

HOMETOWN : Decatur, Illinois, USA

ETHNICITY : Japanese

NATIONALITY : American

FACE CLAIM : Noa Kazama

Born to second generation Korean Americans, CONSTANCE is Lightspeed’s most prominent vocalist. She was musically inclined from an early age, able to pick up and mimic melodies by ear. By the time she was fourteen, she was proficient in multiple instruments, having spent all of her afternoons at local music shops and figuring them out for herself. Her prodigal music run came to an end when she auditioned for Julliard and didn’t get in. She settled for pursuing her secondary interest of mechanical engineering instead.

Being a kpop idol was never a possibility to her. Her grandparents left Korea in the aftermath of the Korean War—why would she go back? Yet when IGNITE! announced auditions in New York City, Constance decided she could give it a try. She was indisputably one of the best singers on the show, moving the judges to tears in her final performance. She placed third at the show’s conclusion.

KNOWN FOR: Bringing an entire suitcase of snacks. Smiling like The Almighty Loaf. Pointing out the film crew’s OSHA violations.

STAGE NAME : Constance

FULL NAME : Constance Bomi Im

BIRTHDAY : January 28, 2001

BIRTHPLACE : Newark, New Jersey, USA

HOMETOWN : Newark, New Jersey, USA

ETHNICITY : Korean

NATIONALITY : American

FACE CLAIM : Winter / Minjeong Kim

MIA’S career started at the young age of six with a small background role in a children’s TV show. Pushed to perform by her mother (still reeling from her failure to be a famous actress), she took dance lessons—ballet, tap, jazz—and acting lessons and modeling lessons. As a child and a teenager, she had two big breaks: a starring role in a spinoff of a popular kids’ show, and a brief stint as a kpop trainee under JYP Entertainment. Her six months there were the greatest time of her life, so when her mother suggested she should audition for IGNITE!, she jumped at the chance.

Her previous experience was evident from the moment she stepped on stage. She never ranked below third, was center for most of her performances, and seemed to be an endless source of memorable and iconic performance clips. It came as no surprise that she placed first among the female contestants in IGNITE!’s finale.

KNOWN FOR: Carrying her team in almost every performance. Struggling to make a heart in the theme song. Reenacting an orange juice commercial she did when she was seven.

STAGE NAME : Mia

FULL NAME : Mia Odette Kim-Anderson

BIRTHDAY : June 4, 2002

BIRTHPLACE : Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

HOMETOWN : Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

ETHNICITY : Caucasian, Korean

NATIONALITY : Australian

FACE CLAIM : Lily Jin Morrow

EV, born Everett Lam Chun-sheng in Hong Kong, China, is the youngest member of Lightspeed. His parents divorced when he was six years old, leading to his subsequent move to Leeds, England with his mother and the changing and reordering of his names. His interest in music was fostered by his stepfather, a symphony musician, as a way for the two of them to connect. It worked—he took music as his fourth A-level, alongside maths, history, and English literature.

While attending university, he was met with the opportunity to participate in IGNITE! As a competitor, Ev was known mostly for his quiet disposition and peacemaking abilities. He acknowledged his lack of skill in the beginning, and improved greatly throughout the show’s run. He placed third.

KNOWN FOR: Recreating Hyungwon’s Starbucks meme with a Redbull during a practice session. Reciting Jacques’s “All the world’s a stage” monologue from As You Like It in his audition. Doing the exact same stiff ending fairy pose after every performance.

STAGE NAME : Ev

BIRTH NAME : Everett Lam Chun-sheng

FULL NAME : Everett Chun-sheng Sharpe

BIRTHDAY : January 15, 2003

BIRTHPLACE : Hong Kong, China

HOME TOWN : Leeds, England

ETHNICITY : Chinese, English

NATIONALITY : British 

FACE CLAIM : William Gao

FEATURING: @seeyal8r @snspice @venusvity @stcpidcupid @almostyours

[phoenixwrites]

So if it's okay to ask, I'd love your thoughts or even your friends thoughts on "reader x canon character" and "oc x canon character" fics/writers? I recently got into a ''conversation'' with an older fandom friend who was pretty insulting against both, how it ruins fandom, how I shouldn't support those writers and should instead leave bad comments or refuse to speak to them, so on; our mutuals agreed with friend and now I feel like the blinking man gif? I said I wasn't going to be an online conservative nor behave like this is high school, but they all kept going on. I wanted to ask someone in my fandoms who keeps it 100% about things and you've been one of the few and the best that consistently speaks up on fandom issues, right now I just feel at a loss for words because I didn't think oc fics or reader inserts were bad or hate offenses, just fandom fun

Of course it’s okay to ask!

This is a great example of “I do not like it, but other people do and are having fun, so go forth”. Now to be clear, it is insanely annoying when Eddie/Reader or Eddie/OC fics show up on the Hellcheer tag. Really wish they’d stop doing that. I know they’re doing it for views but it is incredibly irritating.

But outside of that as an ongoing problem, I don’t have an issue with either.

My very first fanfiction that got a strange amount of popularity, considering I wrote it as a preteen—was a Lost fanfic, featuring Sawyer and an OC that was a thinly veiled version of me, or rather, who I wanted to be. I didn’t like Sawyer and Kate as a couple and this was before Juliet was introduced, so my ships were Sawyer and Claire or Sawyer and this OC, that I spent years and years fine tuning. And while I look back on that fanfic with quite a bit of embarrassment, I also look back on it with a lot of love, because that fanfic taught me how to write and how to write well.

Nowadays, I don’t really read Character/OC fics because they are simply not my cup of tea. I do not understand the appeal of canon character/Reader fics and never will (I don’t want to be involved in the interaction, I want to WATCH Eddie and Chrissy fall in love a zillion times. I am a voyeur, not a participant.) but I know a lot of lovely writers who write them and have very faithful readerships.

Your friend, to be frank, sounds insane. I think it’s ridiculous to state character/OC fics or character/reader fics are “ruining fandom” when they have existed for as long as fandom has. (Remember, I was writing this Sawyer/OC fic when Lost was airing, which was the early 2000’s.) Secondly, leaving bad comments is always going to be bad form. In my day, “flaming” was a very popular hobby for trolls, which was just to violently attack a fic for no reason just to upset the writer or to “flame” a fic with a ship you don’t like. It happened to quite a few popular writers, myself included.

But a nice evolution of fandom is nowadays, that is not quite as acceptable anymore. If you don’t like something, you click out of it. You see a fic that has a ship you hate, you ignore the fic (and if it’s a Steddie fic, you request the writer, for the thousandth time, they NOT TAG IT HELLCHEER.)

Fandom is a hobby. It’s supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be writing goofy things like your fave characters falling in love in coffeeshops and castles. It is NOT up to anyone to decide what is “ruining fandom” because honestly, the only thing that is “ruining fandom” are these self-righteous assholes harassing creators.

[hearts4farryn]

July 19, 2023

TW! ed, sa, addiction, basically dead dove don’t eat

After years of an ed, I finally find myself on Tumblr; the HOLY GRAIL of disordered people. You’d think after 3 years of therapy, several hospital trips, and multiple attempts i’d learn my lesson. At this point I think I just like wallowing in my mental illnesses. Once quarantine started, I just went spiraling down a path in the wrong direction. But this year has been the most wild point of my life. It’s funny, a couple weeks ago my step-dad asked me if I had hit rock bottom. His question didn’t sprout from just a few of my life’s mishaps though. My biological dad who lives across the United States sent my and in-depth suicide note through his Gmail; causing me to stress over him for weeks. A few months earlier I had been raped by a man in his 20’s, but he got shot 2 weeks after. Karma’s a bitch when it needs to be. And finally, the cherry on top, my parents and relatives found out my therapist was grooming me. I knew that his sexual advances towards me weren’t necessarily normal, but he has told me countless times I was “one of a kind” and he “thought about me often.” The worst part of him grooming me was people finding out. I could handle that my middle aged therapist (who was actually very cute!) found me attractive and had other plans than me just being a client to him. I didn’t mind it. Being victimized and the stress of taking legal action was a completely different topic. Thank God, my parents decided to stray away from the police. I’ve already had enough encounters with them anyway. Back to my step-dad saying I hit rock bottom, I already knew I hadn’t. Not even a week after he asked, I overdosed on my bedroom floor with Euphoria playing in the background. No fucking joke. This was also not on purpose (surprisingly) and I had been using for a long time before this. My blue leds were on too. My mom found me in my bed; grey-faced, convulsing, while my friend held back tears as she watched death almost swallow me whole. My mom dragged me to the floor, called 911, and started CPR. Mind you I was in a thong and bra during all of this. EMTS eventually arrived at my house and I woke up to lights flashing in my eyes and realizing everyone there has seen me half naked. I cried in the ambulance and apologized to the officer beside me countless times. To be honest, he was probably getting pissed and how much i was whining and the amount of “I’m so sorrys” i was throwing out there. If anyone out there has experienced addiction and thought, “oh! there’s no way that’ll happen to me! i know what i’m doing.” There is always a way. ALWAYS. Especially with hard shit. I’ve been sober since then and hope to continue, but i still haven’t processed it fully. Instead of realizing it was a very serious situation, I just giggle at the thought of it and move on. Anyways, all this crazy shit has sprouted into my life after my first heartbreak. I had been cheated on after I poured everything into a relationship. At the same time, what did I expect out of a teenage boy? I won’t go too in depth about that, it’s always the same story for everyone. Now Im about 2000 miles from home, with my childhood best friends. It’s a nice and quiet break from everything. I just kind of relive the same day and don’t have to worry about being around my triggers. These 3 weeks have been the easiest weeks to get clean. I just hope i stay clean, i honestly never know. Without a therapist, I’m just going to have to figure shit out on my own and hope I’m doing life right. This year I’ll be going into my sophomore year of high school, and I kind of can’t wait for summer to be over. But first I need to be skinny!! I want to be sickly. That’s just kind of what I’m relying on to cope right now. If anyone needs to rant in my dms they are always welcome, I am here for this community! I get it. This is my first update here, I’m not sure if anyone will read it but hi if u do! Thank you for listening!

xoxo

farryn

[backupherewego]

WORKING AT BRAWN GP (James part)

2/14, 2011

Name: James Vowles Job Title: Race Strategy Engineer Age: 30 Lives: Oxford Hobbies: Motorbikes, Motorsport, Mountain Biking

Q. What studies did you complete before you worked in Formula One?

A. I wasn't entirely sure where I wanted to go in life when I was younger. I can say I was studious as most of my school reports stated James is clearly very intelligent, when he applies himself! I completed most of my education in Geneva at an International School and at about 16 years old, I started to dedicate myself a bit more, particularly enjoying Maths, Physics and Computing. This led me to return to the UK to study Computer Science at the University Of East Anglia as a stepping stone until I figured out where I was destined. I had done my fair share of karting to this point and loved motorsport. When I was growing up Sundays were mostly spent watching Formula One races with a friend who truly was like a brother to me. Until that point I considered motorsport a far fetched dream and after sending out CVs to all the F1 teams, with zero positive results (including one CV actually sent back to me!), I decided to dedicate my life to both getting into and then being successful in F1. I started working weekends at Snetterton Race Circuit, which was near my University, with Formula Ford and GT teams, building up both experience and contacts, until I finished my degree in 2000. From there, I was one of 20 students lucky enough to be selected for the first Cranfield University MSc in Motorsport Engineering course. The course was a baptism of fire, with the other 19 students being of extremely high calibre, all with Engineering backgrounds, most of who now work in either F1 or GP2. In September 2001 I graduated with a distinction, picking up a Prodrive award for the design of a school racing car.

Q. Where did you work before Brawn GP?

A. In terms of motorsport, I started where all budding engineers should – scrapping rubber from GT racing slicks in a cold garage on a Sunday morning! When I was still doing my MSc in 201, Ray Rowan, who ran successful FIA Sportcars and F3 teams, gave me my first engineering role. I started as the Data Engineer for the F3 team and after a few months Ray felt comfortable enough to let me run the programme and engineer the car

from then onwards. That same year I became the Senior Race Engineer on their Le Mans programme, taking the Pilbeam LM675 car to Le Mans. In 2001, I applied for an Assistant Race Engineer position with British American Racing, and whilst I wasn抰 accepted for that role, I made enough of an impression for a new role to be created, and my first goal of entering Formula One was achieved. In 2002, I started work on a Race Strategy system and shortly afterwards joined the Race Engineering department and started travelling to the races. My role has expanded over the years combining Race Engineering duties, Friday car running with Anthony Davidson as our third driver in 2004 and 2006 and of course Race Strategy. In 2008 I was privileged enough to start working with Ross Brawn and we haven looked back since.

Q. Describe your job on a day-to-day basis?

A. Prior to each race, I gather all the historical data, patterns (traffic, overtaking, track changes) and team performance data. Brawn GP has a number of custom simulation packages which we run to ensure that we gain a good understanding of the running plan for the weekend and the estimated tyre performance, highlighting any potential problems and considerations. During Friday we will build a picture on our competitors performance, tyre usage, weaknesses and strengths. I work closely with the senior race engineers to ensure we get the most out of our car and modify the run plans if required during sessions. The Friday data then allows us to determine a qualifying plan including which tyre compounds and in what order and just as importantly, the final qualifying fuel figure. We always create several plans, depending on where our competitors are relative to us in each qualifying session. On Sunday morning Ross and I sit down and discuss all of the potential race scenarios and plan actions for various events such as safety car deployment and accidents. This planning is the key to solid race strategy as we may only have a matter of seconds to react to incidents on track. During the race, the decisions we make are what order to run the tyre compounds, what the next stop lap will be, what to do in case on safety cars on every lap, who we are fighting, and what we can do to defend or beat them. We are continuously updating the driver with his targets, both lap time and position to allow them to manage their tyres and the gaps to other cars around and ultimately their pace. Following the race I will analyse all of the decisions and data gathered from the event, understand what we did right, and what we could have done differently and improved on. This analysis is then used to build a further understanding with regards to our competitors for the following event.

Q. What do you like about working in Formula One?

A. Formula One is unique – it's my passion, my hobby, my life. Outside of the race weekend, the entire team is trying to work harder, faster and better than the nine other teams to ensure that by the next race, we do a better job than them. The business solely

focuses on a single event, which lasts around two hours roughly every other week, where the result of hard work and dedication can be seen the world over. The other aspect is the reactivity of Brawn GP and how quickly we can react to other competitors, rule changes, and problems. We are able to draw, manufacture and run components that were first discussed only a few weeks ago.

Q. What's the best thing about working for Brawn GP?

A. For me, it's all about the people you work with, the team work, the development. The race engineering group has been together for a long time and is very close which makes for a great working environment. I think it抯 fair to say the engineers spend nearly as much time together as we do with our respective partners! The other reason is Ross Brawn who has changed the way we work together as a team. It's a privilege to work alongside him during a race weekend.

Q. What’s the most challenging aspect of your job?

A. The first challenge is making a strategic decision during qualifying or the race, sometimes in just a few seconds, based on as little or as much data you have available at that time. The difference between making a good or bad decision can be as much as several positions by the end of the race and therefore having the most accurate data possible at all times is key to this. The second is managing driver expectation and performance over a race weekend. During the race the goal is to work with the engineers to give the driver targets to hit, manage his pace, and keep an eye on your competitors to understand both their performance and usage of tyres.

Q. What has been the best moment of the 2009 season so far?

A. There have been several. The first would be when we took the BGP 001 car to Silverstone watching Jenson drive a few laps to ensure all was well before we shipped the car to its first test. The relief from where the team was just a few months ago was indescribable. However my best moment in 2009 was, without question, Monaco. A one- two result from Jenson and Rubens is an incredible achievement. More specifically from a strategic perspective, we had the right strategy, putting the cars first and third on the grid. We managed a difficult tyre situation and reacted quickly to the dynamic race to bring the cars home first and second. At the end of the race I was standing just next to the podium, Ross Brawn just behind me with his elbows on my shoulders watching Jenson running down the straight after leaving his car in Parc Ferme. It's a memory that will stay with me forever.

[13thpythagoras]

me to donkey: does tumblr even stan a girl boss?

nope, "splitting the vote" did not get trump the white house in 2016, lmao US history class is now in session

Reality Winner, a person, not anything but a young lady from Georgia, a millennial even, working in Florida, working for the federal government, leaked that the Russians hacked everything in the election up to and including actual voting machines and the tallies they created, how much more specific can I be, they cooked up the votes to get Trump in if that makes sense. You can google any of this, it's all out there publicly available info that I find so few people are aware of...

Reality Winner went to prison for 4 years over leaking this, which is interesting considering they don't send you to prison for mis-information, slander, or libel (unless you're the governor of Mississippi and you're going after a journalist who nailed you for corruption but won't reveal their source so you're jailing her over not revealing her source, but that's another story)

is it any mistake that Oregon, the whitest state in the USA, is the only state with total vote-by-mail voting? Every other state, y'know, where there are more black people, makes people wait in line like a soviet bread line, because they want that poll tax, they want it to cost a day's wage to vote if you're black, they want those illegal poll taxes so bad it's illegal to give people water in Georgia, but you don't wanna bring up how those poll taxes are incredibly unconstitutional and how it's unconscionable that we don't have total 100% vote by mail access in this country, but you wanna blame that darn Bernie or Jill. Open your eyes maybe

there are 46 million registered Democrats, and 38 million registered generally oppressive people, why the fuck are we allowing them to fully always and forever control the house and senate, and steal every other election dating back to that Gore v Bush scotus coup in 2000, but no let's not talk about how scotus committed a coup why not just blame ralph nader? (lol this was me, I remember writing an article for the high school paper blasting Ralph Nader with this exact same point, and even then, my high school paper editor was like, "eh, ok no. Not printing that. Thanks though." And he was right!

if you take away third party candidates, the russians will still steal the vote count you're still going to lose

I'm not saying don't vote blue, I will be, but this issue isn't about those pesky far-left-wingers letting their votes get split, it's about literal coups stealing the elections that are always landslides for progressives, 46-38 million registered dems to GOP remember, we should be winning every election in a fucking landslide but the playing field is so goddamn slanted we're lucky to have what we have now

let's focus on election security, eliminating poll taxes, and admit we can't blam-the-far-left our way out of this... I agree, vote blue this election, I will be, but I'm 10trillion times more concerned about Russians hacking the voting totals than I am about people voting 3rd party, I'm 10trillion times more worried unconstitutional poll taxes, the lack of vote by mail access, and evil bosses who know what they're doing and try to deny PTO on voting day will keep working class people / Democrats away from the polls

further noting you can be fired for voting on voting day in these states, yes bosses can still disenfranchise working class voters at will in these states, and fire workers who disobey and decide to vote anyway and that's fully legal.

"States that don’t mandate any time off to vote

Connecticut

Delaware

Florida

Idaho

Indiana

Louisiana

Maine

Michigan

Mississippi

Montana

New Hampshire

New Jersey

North Carolina

North Dakota, which has a law “encouraging” companies to give employees time to vote, but doesn’t actually require them to do so

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

South Carolina

Vermont

Virginia

Washington"

Whatever happens, two things remain true: 1. Trump might be distancing himself from Project 2025, but his Agenda 47, which is on his website, is basically the same thing. 2. Third party voting is useless without ranked choice voting; it's mathematically impossible to elect a third party candidate. DO NOT SPLIT THE VOTE.

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 8

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 8

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language.

Words: ~2000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7

Part 8

Billy read through the file on his desk for the third time that day. After the night of the gala he’d hired an investigator to gather info on you, and now all the major events in your life were neatly encompassed in a red folder, ready for his perusal. Despite your refusal to share anything, he’d managed to learn a lot about you reading your file. Except instead of giving him clarity on you, the documents triggered an avalanche of questions and emotions that left him rattled.

You grew up in the projects, in a poor neighbourhood in Chicago, but had managed to wrangle your way into a state university. He knew how expensive those were, and even with the scholarships you’d earned it was almost impossible for someone in your socio-economic background to be able to attend college – but you had, and judging by your relatively low student loans it wasn’t simply due to luck. Billy had learned a long time ago that when opportunities presented themselves, he had to make quick and tough decisions to get ahead. Rawlins had presented such an opportunity, which had given Billy the cashflow he needed to start Anvil. Who was your Rawlins, he wondered.

Throughout college you interned at a moderately-sized company in Chicago and they hired you immediately upon graduation. You never looked back after that, moving from firm to firm while going up the corporate ladder. There were so many things about your life you didn’t share with Billy but you had been honest about one thing – Anvil couldn’t afford you. If he’d hired you, your salary would be on par with his.  

Billy still remembered when he’d signed his first lucrative contract. He’d been eyeing the Wraith for months prior to that, and as soon as he could justify the purchase he did. The penthouse in a luxury high-rise building came next. You, however, were the complete opposite of him. You owned your condo, and while it was nice and in a decent neighbourhood, it certainly wasn’t a luxury purchase. You were careful with your money, except when it came to shoes. Based on your credit card records, you bought a lot but the ridiculously expensive purchases weren’t as numerous. He guessed those were the ones you bought when you were especially troubled, like Davina had said.

Billy had pored over your life starting from where you were now all the way back to your childhood. The first time he read the child abuse investigation report in your file was two days ago, and it had taken him hours to finish because of the sheer rage it provoked in him. It was an incident reported by one of your teachers after you’d shown up to school with bruises and burn marks. Of course the child protective services had done nothing, you’d been returned to your parents. There were no other reports filed after that but abuse that vicious didn’t stop just because the cops came around. Your parents probably just learned not to leave visible bruises.  Billy was all too familiar with that kind of violence and realizing you went through the same made him want to destroy every fucking person in your life that ever hurt you.

“I fought like hell to make something of myself, to be safe and happy.”

Your words still rung in his ears. They had haunted him for a week now. He could still remember the strange look of apathy on your face even though your words were obviously coming from a place of hurt and anger. At the time he didn’t know what you meant, but now he understood and it both sickened and infuriated him that you felt threatened by him. What could he have possibly done to conjure the same fear in you as your goddamn family? How could you compare him to them?

“You will not destroy me.”

Your voice had been steady and calm when you said the words, a complete contrast to the confusion he’d been feeling. Fine, he may not have recognized your worth sooner before but that didn’t mean he wanted to hurt you. Yet you’d accused him of doing just that and it pissed the fuck out of him. Yeah he’d bragged about Anvil to Roger but that was to get you actual protection and keep you safe – something your precious fucking Roger should have done from day one. Corporations didn’t give a fuck about their employees until their bottom lines were threatened and knowing a competitor had access to that kind of info meant bad PR for Valiant. You were smart, you should have realized exactly why Billy had played that card but instead you chose to be willfully blind and accuse him of jeopardizing your job. It made him so angry that it had taken every bit of willpower he had not to shake the stupidity out of you.

The phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. Upon seeing who it was, he picked it up immediately. “Yeah?”

“Hey, boss. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Looks like she’s lost her tail. Didn’t even take her that long. The guy’s an idiot.”

Frustrated, Billy ran his fingers through his hair. The little talk with Roger had worked and Valiant had assigned a bodyguard to you, but like everything else about the company, the guard was ineffective. Fortunately Billy had already anticipated Valiant’s ineptitude so he’d made arrangements for one of his best trackers to keep an eye on you. “Think she knows about you?”

Andy snorted. “This ain’t my first gig.”

Even though Billy knew Andy was great at what he did - he was one of Anvil’s best - it still didn’t assuage his anxieties about you. “Where is she right now?”

“Driving out of town. I’m on her tail.”

“Headed for?”

“Not sure yet. Connecticut, I think.”

Billy exhaled an agitated sigh. “Okay, let me know if there’s trouble.”

“Will do.”

After hanging up with Andy, he called your number. As expected, it went to your voicemail automatically. Just like it had every time this past week. Obviously you’d blocked him, which irritated the fuck out of him, but he realized it was something you needed to do for yourself. And if you didn’t have some unhinged lunatic after you, Billy would have given you the space you needed - but now was not the time to respect your goddamn boundaries.

“Hey, it’s me. I get it. You’re pissed but we need to talk. Call me.” He paused, breathing. A part of him wanted to add a ‘please’ but he didn’t like the thought of pleading with another person, even you. Because if he begged and you still didn’t call back… he didn’t want to think about what that meant.

Reluctantly, he put your file down and returned to reviewing the contracts in front of him.

***

It was almost two in the morning. He’d gone out for dinner with some potential clients and schmoozed the hell out of them. After a lot of booze and ass-kissing, they finally shook on the deal. All in all, it was a pretty great night except he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Every time his phone rang he hoped it was you; it never was. And now he was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking of you like some lovesick fool. It was pathetic. He should have gone home with the waitress that had slipped him her number. She’d been hot, fun, and more than happy to fuck him but some stupid part of him felt guilty – actually guilty even though you’d been ignoring him for a week – of sleeping with someone who wasn’t you. What the hell was wrong with him?

Yeah, sure, he’s been in some relationships before but they never lasted long. When things were bad, they were terribly, horribly bad and the good times just weren’t worth it. And so, in the past few years, he’d decided to keep things casual with everyone until you fucking came along and dropped a bomb and now he was right back in the middle of a hurricane. Fuck you. Fuck You. Fuck you for making him feel like this. For making him feel desperate and clingy and pathetic. For making him worry about you. For making him care.

He grabbed his phone and called you. There was your fucking voicemail greeting again and the dreaded beep.

“I make you feel worthless?” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. “What the fuck did I do to make you feel that way? Tell me. Because you actually haven’t given me any reasons. You just spouted some bullshit about having feelings for me before you walked away. Now you’ve blocked my number and I’m sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong.” He scooted off the bed and began pacing the floor. “Eleven fucking months we’ve been sleeping together and you tell me nothing about yourself. Nothing. You were a glorified sex doll. A fucking fleshlight who spoke and only told me things I wanted to hear. Yes, Billy. No, Billy. Fuck me, Billy. You kept everything bottled up! Not once did we have a real conversation. And then all of a sudden you come alive and I find out there’s more to you and I want to get to know you better but then you tell me you have feelings for me, that you might actually love me and instead of giving me a chance to process any of this shit you dump my ass and block me? Fuck you, Y/N!”  

He hung up the phone, feeling much better, but within seconds that feeling of euphoric release turned to anxiety. What if you misinterpreted what he meant? What if something he said inadvertently hurt you again? This time when he called you, his voice was calmer.

“This isn’t me, Y/N. I’m not the guy who calls a woman over and over again, especially when she wants nothing to do with me. But you’re in my head. You’re everywhere I look. I don’t want to think about you, I don’t want to give a fuck about you, but I do…” He took a deep breath. “You said you might love me but I think you’re full of shit. Because when you care about someone, you don’t leave them behind. Shutting someone out, abandoning them, that’s not love. That’s being a fucking coward.”

After putting his phone back on the nightstand table, he lay back in bed with his arm propped up behind his head. He pondered the message he left, realizing the truth. As hard as he’d fought it, as much as he didn’t want to, he had fallen for you. You. Not the woman he’d been fucking for eleven months who didn’t have any personality but the real you, the woman who challenged him, who made him laugh, who was brilliant and incredibly smart and so fucking beautiful he’d get a hard-on practically every time he looked at you. There was so much about you he didn’t know, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life discovering you, fucking you, making you his.

He didn’t believe in destiny or any of that romantic nonsense. The universe had fucked him over too many times for him to accept sentimental bullshit like that. But what he did believe in was himself. Everything he had he fought for and he destroyed anyone who got in his way. Something told him you were the same as him. You two were connected.

He reached for his phone again and dialed your number. His voice was strong, calm, and resolute as he left you a final message.

“I like you. I want you. I’m not walking away.”

He hung up, smirking.

Part 9

A/N - I’m back from lovely St Maarten, all tanned and relaxed :) I hope you guys had a wonderful week, and that you enjoyed this new chapter. I know it wasn’t plot-heavy, just thought-heavy but that was on purpose. I really wanted a chapter just for Billy to process his feelings about “You”. Hope the lack of plot wasn’t a disappointment. As always, thank you for the lovely feedback on the last chapter.  I’m sorry I didn’t respond in a timely manner while I was away!  Please know that I truly appreciate the likes, the reblogs, the wonderful feedback and the asks you guys left me.

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[zediina]

hi! sorry if this comes off as rude, but i’m learning german and was wondering if you have any german tv show/film recommendations? i’d really appreciate it if u do, thanks so much!

Hello!! Don't worry, this isn't rude at all :) I haven't seen many of these in a long time but here are a few I really enjoyed (I linked the trailers to the movies/the first seasons of the shows too):

MOVIES

Die Feuerzangenbowle (1944)

Yes, this movie is very old; it's black and white. But it's still shown on German tv and it's pretty funny. A famous writer goes undercover in a school, pretending to be a student since he never got the classic school experience (he was home-schooled). He and the other students play a bunch of pranks on the teachers, and other shenanigans happen.

Das Boot (1981)

This is a classic and was nominated for several academy awards, including best director and best cinematography. It takes place on a German submarine during ww2, so it's a war movie. Usually not my favorite genre but this one really kept me on the edge of my seat. There's also a series that came out recently, but I haven't seen that. I can't imagine that it's better than this though.

Good Bye Lenin! (2003)

Takes place shortly after the fall of the Berlin wall and tells the story of a young man from East Berlin. His mother just woke up from a coma, and the doctors say she shouldn't get any big surprises (like, you know, the of the fall Berlin wall) so he tries to fool his mom by pretending the GDR still exists; which is harder than it sounds. The premise sounds a bit ridiculous but it's a really great and funny movie.

Das fliegende Klassenzimmer (2003)

Based on a very popular children's book, this movie tells the story of a boy who's new in a boarding school. He and his new friends find the book for a musical and decide to practice and perform it. (There's a bunch of other stuff happening like a rivalry with another group of students. I haven't seen this movie in forever but it's good and the story is very well known).

Die Welle (2008)

This is based on a true story about a social experiment a history teacher did with his class; maybe you've heard of it before. They create a mock-nazi party to try and understand how they became so popular and how people could buy into their rhetoric. Things go sideways pretty quickly. A great movie and a reminder that none of us are immune to indoctrination and radicalization. There's a tv show with the same name, but I don't think they're connected.

Fack Ju Göthe (2013)

I feel like everyone in Germany has seen this comedy at this point. Objectively it isn't a very good one but I'm going to recommend it simply because every German person I know can quote at least one line from this movie. A criminal takes a job as a teacher for the owrst class in that school, because his accomplice buried the money they stole underneath the school and he needs to get to it. Let's just say his teaching methods are a bit... unconventional.

Labyrinth des Schweigens (2014)

Another movie based on a true story, and one of my favorites. This one really stuck with me. It's about a young state attorney in 1950's Germany, who starts interviewing holocaust victims and prosecuting nazi officers who served in Auschwitz. This movie really shows that many people in Germany would have preferred forgetting the holocaust ever happened and pretend everything is fine rather than confront it.

Tschick (2016)

We actually read the book to this in school. It's a bout two 14 year old boys who steal an old car and go on a road trip together, and all the crazy stuff they experience. To be honest I don't remember that much about it since it's been so long since I've seen it, but I do remember really liking it!

Kästner und der kleine Dienstag (2017)

Remember that really popular children's book I mentioned? Well, this movie is about the author of that book. He's one of the authors who stayed in Germany during the Nazi regime, even though his works were banned and burned. It's about his friendship with a young boy that inspired a character in another famous book of his.

Die unheimliche Leichtigkeit der Revolution (2021)

This movie is about the east german environmentalist movement that started the peaceful revolution, which lead to the fall of the Berlin wall. It's about a teenage girl whose younger brother died due to pollution, and the state is trying to cover it up. Also shows how the GDR was trying to suppress any criticism of the state. It's definitely not the best movie on this list, but I really enjoyed it.

TV SHOWS

Ku'Damm 56, Ku'Damm 59, and Ku'Damm 63

The three mini series tell the stories of three sisters, whose mother runs a dancing school on Kurfürstendamm in Berlin. They take place in 1956, 1959 and 1963 respectively. It touches on a lot of topics, including domestic abuse, antisemitism, homosexuality, rape and more. I particularly loved the first season, where the youngest daughter who doesn't really fit into her mother's plans discovers her love for rock n' roll dancing.

Charité

The Charité is a prestiguous university hospital in Berlin with a long history, which this series exlpores. Season 1 takes place in the 19th century, where Robert Koch is lookig for a cure to tuberculosis. Season 2 takes place in Nazi Germany and among other things talks about the euthanasia practices at the time. Season 3 takes place right when the wall is being built (which passed right by the hospital). The show includes charcters based on real people as well as fictional ones.

Deutschland 83, Deutschland 86, Deutschland 89

An East German soldier has to go and work undercover for the GDR in West Germany, at a time where cold war tensions run high. I never got around to watching the last two seasons, but I remeber that the first one was really good.

Club der roten Bänder

This is based on a true story, and there are other versions of this show for example in the US. It's about a bunch of kids with different conditions who become friends in a hospital; two of them have cancer and got their legs amputated, one has an issue with his heart, one crashed a motorcycle, the youngest is in a coma, the girl has an eating disorder. There are other characters who show up as well. The show can get pretty sad, but their friendship is really touching.

Türkisch für Anfänger

This show was wildly popular back when it came out in the early 2000s. A german woman marries a turqish man, and create a patchwork family with four kids; who are absolutely not excited about it. But they have to figure out how to live with each other.

Oof, this escalated a bit, but I didn't want to exclude anything :) I hope you find something you like on this list!

[forestkodama]

Okay, so, wanna hear a funny story?

A lifetime ago (for at least a chunk of tumblr's demographic), when the now beloved meme-source movie The Road to El Dorado was set to be released in theaters, DreamWorks decided to do some promotions. There was some standard tie-in fast food kid cups and booklets (do they even still do that?) but for this movie, someone decided to do something bigger.

"Hey," probably thought some eager mid-tier marketing director at DreamWorks, "This movie is about a quasi-fictional place in America called El Dorado. There are towns named for that place right here in America. Let's have an event at one of those towns!"

Now, in the United States, there are more than two dozen places called some variant of El Dorado. About half so are actual towns, most of which began as oil boom towns. In the year 2000, when this animated delight was made, the largest of these towns (El Dorado, Arkansas) had a whole 21,000 people. DreamWorks wanted to have a promotional event in an El Dorado and they had to choose from towns ranging from small to post-office-was-shut-down-in-the-60s-smaller to barely-holding-a-census-designation-tiny.

For whatever reason, the animation studio's marketing did not select the largest of these towns to get the most publicity for their buck. Instead, they selected the second largest town: Coming in at a whole 12,000 people, El Dorado, Kansas.

My home town.

In 2000, I was in eighth grade and a nerd. I was blossoming into a barely-worldly cinephile, and I knew that this sort of thing wasn't a common occurrence for our unknown town. I was also developing my taste for irony, because the fact that DreamWorks selected us was hilarious for another reason beyond the fact that we were tiny and unknown: We don't pronounce it El Do-rah-do. We pronounce it El Do-ray-do.

Word gets out that the studio is going to host a parade for the town around its premier in December. They will paint the town gold, literally: Gold streets, gold ornaments, gold lighting. The high school band would march in the parade in uniforms with gold trim. There would be a special ceremony that involved giving the mayor a bag of gold. All of this would be recorded as features to be seen as extras on the DVD release of the movie. This was back when DVDs were still a big deal. Cue me, in band but not yet in high school, being intensely jealous.

A day before the parade, I'm watching the news before school - I think on KAKE even though I liked KSN better - and DreamWorks has hired two characters actors as Tulio and Miguel to be interviewed by the news anchors. This was the first time I had ever seen Real Life versions of animated characters outside of Disneyland. Their clothes and haircuts perfectly matched their animated counterparts. They were flamboyant and wonderful and I hope wherever those dudes are now they are having a good life. They talk about El Dorado and the gold to be given to the city.

Everyone is really excited, or, at least, I am.

Then, because this is Kansas in December, weather happened: A tornado snowstorm. It falls hard and piles up fast.

And DreamWorks does not cancel the parade.

They continue to televise it.

Presumably this is the video that would get attached to the DVD.

The parade is set for the afternoon, and the snow continues as the high school band marches on. The golden streets of El Dorado have been buried under a foot of snow. The golden lights glow with auras in the gently falling snow.

I remember watching the beginning of the parade at home and thinking how not-fun it looked, but I still begged my grandfather to take me downtown to watch the gold-gifting ceremony. It was damn cold and the streets were absolutely awful with slush. (Years later, I would ask some upperclassmen what it was like to march that day, and the responses were unanimous: Fucking miserable.) The mayor was in a big coat on stage, but I remember the two actors playing Miguel and Tulio still in their Spanish-esque colorful shirts. They handed her a bag, presumably filled with gold coins (the rumored number ranged from 100 to 1000), and she made a little speech that ended with a quip about how for today our town was known as El Do-rah-do.

We all clap and then rush to get out of the cold and wet situation, entirely unsure of exactly what we just experienced.

Supposedly, the gold coins went to building the six-screen movie theater in town, since we only had the seasonal drive-in and a defunct two-screen. The city still hangs the gold decorations every December.

None of this ever appeared on The Road to El Dorado DVD. So few records exist of this bizarre promotional stunt waylaid by snow, it just doesn't exist outside of my hometown in Kansas. The Road to El Dorado is of course now famous for its characters and their relationships (cause fuck yeah bisexual and polyamorous representation) and a bit of a phoned-in soundtrack by Elton John (I still love Someday Out of the Blue), but I'll never forget the Snow Covered City of Gold Called El Do-ray-do.

[antoine-roquentin]

obliquely, this is in reference to how formerly working class bastions in the midwest that used to elect socialists now elect republicans. if we all gave up the theory that LGBT people are normal, we might once again go back to the days where we elected socialists across the country. thomas frank, what’s the matter with kansas:

But its periodic bouts of leftism were what really branded Kansas with the mark of the freak. Every part of the country in the nineteenth century had labor upheavals and protosocialist reform movements, of course. In Kansas, though, the radicals kept coming out on top. It was as though the blank landscape prompted dreams of a blank-slate society, a place where institutions might be remade as the human mind saw fit. Maps of the state from the 1880s show a hamlet (since vanished) called Radical City; in nearby Crawford County the town of Girard was home to the Appeal to Reason, a socialist newspaper whose circulation was in the hundreds of thousands. In that same town, in 1908, Eugene Debs gave a fiery speech accepting the Socialist Party’s nomination for president; in 1912 Debs actually carried Crawford County, one of four he won nationwide. (All were in the Midwest.) In 1910 Theodore Roosevelt signaled his own lurch to the left by traveling to Kansas and giving an inflammatory address in Osawatomie, the onetime home of John Brown.

The most famous freak-out of them all was Populism, the first of the great American leftist movements.* Populism tore through other states as well—wailing all across Texas, the South, and the West in the 1890s—but Kansas was the place that really distinguished itself by its enthusiasm. Driven to the brink of ruin by years of bad prices, debt, and deflation, the state’s farmers came together in huge meetings where homegrown troublemakers like Mary Elizabeth Lease exhorted them to “raise less corn and more hell.” The radicalized farmers marched through the small towns in day-long parades, raging against what they called the “money power.” And despite all the clamor, they still managed to take the state’s traditional Republican masters utterly by surprise in 1890, sweeping the small-town slickers out of office and ending the careers of many a career politician. In the decade that followed they elected Populist governors, Populist senators, Populist congressmen, Populist supreme court justices, Populistcity councils, and probably Populist dogcatchers, too; men of strong ideas, curious nicknames, and a colorful patois....

For a generation, Kansas has been the testing-ground for every experiment in morals, politics, and social life. Doubt of all existing institutions has been respectable. Nothing has been venerable or revered merely because it exists or has endured. Prohibition, female suffrage, fiat money, free silver, every incoherent and fantastic dream of social improvement and reform, every economic delusion that has bewildered the foggy brains of fanatics, every political fallacy nurtured by misfortune, poverty and failure, rejected elsewhere, has here found tolerance and advocacy.

Today the two myths are one. Kansas may be the land of averageness, but it is a freaky, militant, outraged averageness. Kansas today is a burned-over district of conservatism where the backlash propaganda has woven itself into the fabric of everyday life. People in suburban Kansas City vituperate against the sinful cosmopolitan elite of New York and Washington, D.C.; people in rural Kansas vituperate against the sinful cosmopolitan elite of Topeka and suburban Kansas City. Survivalist supply shops sprout in neighborhood strip-malls. People send Christmas cards urging their friends to look on the bright side of Islamic terrorism, since the Rapture is now clearly at hand.

Under the state’s simple blue flag are gathered today some of the most flamboyant cranks, conspiracists, and calamity howlers the Republic has ever seen. The Kansas school board draws the guffaws of the world for purging state science standards of references to evolution. Cities large and small across the state still hold out against water fluoridation, while one tiny hamlet takes the additional step of requiring firearms in every home. A prominent female politician expresses public doubts about the wisdom of women’s suffrage, while another pol proposes that the state sell off the Kansas Turnpike in order to solve its budget crisis. Impoverished inhabitants of the state’s most scenic area fight with fanatical determination to prevent a national park from opening up in their neighborhood, while the rails-to-trails program, regarded everywhere else in the union as a harmless scheme for family fun, is reviled in Kansas as an infernal design on the rights of property owners. Operation Rescue selects Wichita as the stage for its great offensive against abortion, calling down thirty thousand testifying fundamentalists on the city, witnessing and blocking traffic and chaining themselves to fences. A preacher from Topeka travels the nation advising Americans to love God’s holy hate, showing up wherever a gay person has been in the news to announce that “God Hates Fags.” Survivalists and secessionists dream of backyard confederacies out on the lone prairie; schismatic Catholics declare the pope himself to be insufficiently Catholic; Posses Comitatus hold imaginary legal proceedings, sternly prosecuting state officials for participating in actual legal proceedings; and homegrown terrorists swap conspiracy theories at a house in Dickinson County before screaming off to strike a blow against big government in Oklahoma City.

the problem with this simple story is that social liberalism actually grew in lockstep with an economic policy tailored to the poor. in the 70s, the most common place to get gender reassignment surgery was at a catholic hospital in small town colorado. in 2010, in response to deep opposition in the town, the practice was forced to move to california. the second most common place was at a baptist hospital in oklahoma city, where such surgery was viewed as routine until a number of religious leaders decided to oppose it in the 70s. at the same time, many other religious leaders spoke out in favour of the surgery, saying that it comported well with religious tenets.

likewise, colorado legalized abortion in 1967, as did states like kansas, missouri, georgia, and north and south carolina prior to roe v wade. today, these states are considered anti-abortion and anti-lgbt hotspots, yet prior to the late 70s, compassion for such people was viewed as paramount in the life of america’s christians. so what happened? it clearly wasn’t an emphasis on the social aspects of poor american lives that shifted the political arena in favour of religious conservatism. rather, as thomas frank points out in the same book:

Nobody mows their own lawn in Mission Hills anymore, and only a foot soldier in its armies of gardeners would park a Pontiac there. The doctors who lived near us in the seventies have pretty much been gentrified out, their places taken by the bankers and brokers and CEOs who have lapped them repeatedly on the racetrack of status and income. Every time I paid Mission Hills a visit during the nineties, it seemed another of the more modest houses in our neighborhood had been torn down and replaced by a much larger edifice, a three-story stone chateau, say, bristling with turrets and porches and dormers and gazebos and a three-car garage. The dark old palaces from the twenties sprouted spiffy new slate roofs, immaculately tailored gardens, remote-controlled driveway gates, and sometimes entire new wings. One grand old pile down the street from us was fitted with shiny new gutters made entirely of copper. A new house a few doors down from Esrey’s spread is so large it has two multicar garages, one at either end.

These changes are of course not unique to Mission Hills. What has gone on there is normal in its freakishness. You can observe the same changes in Shaker Heights or La Jolla or Winnetka or Ann Coulter’s hometown of New Canaan, Connecticut. They reflect the simplest and hardest of economic realities: The fortunes of Mission Hills rise and fall in inverse relation to the fortunes of ordinary working people. When workers are powerful, taxes are high, and labor is expensive (as was the case from World War II until the late seventies), the houses built here are smaller, the cars domestic, the servants rare, and the overgrown look fashionable in gardening circles. People read novels about eccentric English aristocrats trapped in a democratic age, sighing sadly for their lost world.

When workers are weak, taxes are down, and labor is cheap (as in the twenties and again today), Mission Hills coats itself in shimmering raiments of gold and green. Now the stock returns are plush, the bonus packages fat, the servants affordable, and the suburb finds that the princely life isn’t dead after all. It builds new additions and new fountains and new Italianate porches overlooking Olympic-sized flower gardens maintained by shifts of laborers. People read books about the glory of empire. The kids get Porsches or SUVs when they turn sixteen; the houses with asphalt roofs discreetly disappear; the wings that were closed off are triumphantly reopened, and all is restored to its former grandeur. Times may be hard where you live, but here events have yielded a heaven on earth, a pleasure colony out of the paintings of Maxfield Parrish.

america's workers and small farmers were saved by the reforms of the 1930s, as frank explains, then crushed as the wealthy found out how to squirrel away their taxes (in part thanks to the collapse of the british empire), accumulate wealth away from prying eyes, lobby the government for preferential treatment, and between 1976 and 2000, triumph completely in the political domain. mission hill donates more money to politicians than the rest of kansas combined. unions are swamped in state politics, and see declining fortunes. as a result, neoliberal social atomization takes effect, which sees even workers demanding beggar-thy-neighbour policies. and when thy neighbour is socially distinct from you, it becomes easier to justify voting for such politics based on a survival instinct. the majority of the working class tuned out and do not vote any more. among the rest, low skilled working class jobs in highly stratified and inequitable cities vote democrat, hoping for some patronage from the white collar creative class voters they serve, while blue collar skilled workers tend to vote republican, devoid of any examples of class politics in their lives with the death of unions and hoping to keep their share of wages against their only opposition, the tax man.

ultimately, any socially liberal politics sustained by donations from rich big city donors is unsustainable. on the other hand, the notion that “woke” politics is holding back leftism is, save for a few clearly absurd situations (robin diangelo, for instance) also wrong. economic leftism leads to social leftism, because respect to the working class leads to respect for its identities. neoliberal atomization is a much deeper force than can be surmounted at the ballot box, even in a primary, but it is always an economic force first and foremost.

[finalfantasyix]

Meet The Team Working On A Final Fantasy 9 Remake You’ll Never Get To Play

Final Fantasy 9: Memoria Project is a fan homage like nothing we've ever seen before. “It is no secret that fan projects get shut down all the time,” Dan Eder tells us about Final Fantasy 9: Memoria Project, a fan-driven love letter to the classic JRPG. It isn’t aiming to be a playable remake of the epic adventure though - instead, it’s an aesthetic homage to its timeless world and characters.

It’s somewhat anomalous in the world of community creations, but Eder wants to use this distinct identity to craft something truly special, even if many obstacles stand in the way of making it a reality. But the team keeps moving forward: “Without a doubt, some of the most frequent comments we get from naysayers is ‘have fun with it while it lasts’ or ‘cease and desist incoming’”, Eder explains. “People are understandably skeptical of the longevity potential of yet another passion project. The key difference is that, unlike those projects, Memoria is essentially an elaborate piece of fan art, nothing more - it will have no actual gameplay, will never be released to the public, and is nothing more than a ‘what-if’ scenario. [It’s] no different from any other fan-made piece of artwork. We have never, and will never, make a single dollar out of this project, and are basically doing this for the personal gratification of the fans.”

The genesis of Memoria Project dates all the way back to Eder’s younger years, with dreams of a potential FF9 remake entering his imagination soon after the original game’s launch. That’s no great surprise - millions still regard Final Fantasy 9 as the series’ finest hour. “While it's true that the project really started to pick up steam a few months ago, it wouldn't be a stretch to say I've been planning it since high school,” Eder explains. “I remember scribbling ‘FF9 remake’ on my notepad during classes and writing imaginary new features and battle system mechanics, starting online petitions to remake FF9 for the PS2, sketching drawings depicting scenes from the ‘FF9 sequel’ and whatnot. I could confidently say that my life would probably have been completely different had my older brother not borrowed this game from his friend in the summer of 2000.

“As a non-native English speaker who had never played an RPG up until that point, my first playthrough was a challenging experience to say the least, and I can honestly say that I understood literally nothing of what was going on the first time I finished the game (how I even managed to beat it is a mystery in and of itself). It didn't really matter to me though, since I was absolutely enamored with the incredible cast of characters, jaw-dropping FMV sequences, mesmerizing music, thrilling gameplay, and just the overall atmosphere and charm it exuded at every step. My unconditional love for this game persisted throughout my entire childhood and adult life, and it is one of the central reasons why I chose to become a 3D character artist in the video game industry. In short, this project is my way of thanking this game for everything it has done for me over the past 21 years.”

Eder’s passion for this game can be found across several industry professionals who grew up with games like this and wanted to replicate them, or create something entirely unique to live up to their brilliance. This is very much how Memoria Project found its feet, beginning life as a trivial side activity before blossoming into something infinitely more ambitious. It still has a long way to go, but there’s little urgency to reach the finish line, so the team can take their time and just enjoy the nostalgic indulgence of it all.

“Memoria actually started unofficially as a side project when I reached out to Colin Valek [of] Sucker Punch Studios in early 2020 after I came across his fanart of an environment from FF7,” Eder says. “I had already modeled Princess Garnet, and thought it could be a fun idea to combine our talents to reimagine the opening area of Alexandria. Initially, it was progressing at a snail's pace - we were slowly chipping away at it for over a year without making a lot of progress. While Colin continued modeling the buildings, I created another character - Vivi.”

This glacial pace received a resurgence of sorts in January when the Alexandria scene was finally complete, with Eder and company finally being able to see how much potential the project had if it was opened up to a larger range of creators. “When I posted that WIP screenshot, the response from fellow FF fans was overwhelmingly positive, more than we could have imagined,” Eder remembers. “Very quickly, other people from the gaming industry started reaching out - environment artists, animators, riggers, concept artists. That's when I decided to turn this side project into a full-fledged modern reimagining of the original game, while always making sure to emphasize the fact that this is a non-playable proof-of-concept, since we never have any intention of doing anything to violate Square Enix's copyright. Four months after officially announcing the project, we've grown from a couple of FF fanboys to a huge team of over 20 industry veterans working collaboratively to honor this masterpiece, fueled by our love and adoration for the source material.”

Now, the project has over 20 developers from Sucker Punch, Ubisoft, Rare, Unbroken Studios, and more all diving into this labour of love in their spare time, with composers and voice actors also contributing their talents to help make this glimpse into the world of Final Fantasy 9 worth celebrating. But Eder is aware of being overly enthusiastic, knowing that fan projects like this often doom themselves by undertaking something that isn’t feasible with so few resources.

“One of the most common traps for these kinds of fan projects is being overly ambitious,” Eder says. “Since all of us are actively working in the video game industry, we understand the importance of milestones, short term goals, and taking things one step at a time. For now, we are focusing our efforts on the opening sequence of the game, which mainly revolves around Vivi and his exploration of Alexandria. Where we go from here is still being discussed, but one thing I can say for sure is that Vivi will not be the only main character we're planning to include.” I’m told that Memoria is aiming to look indistinguishable - at least from a graphics perspective - from something you’d see in a triple-A blockbuster, and it seems the team has the pedigree to back that claim up.

Visuals are the entire point after all, since turning this project into a playable piece of media would require far more resources to create. By narrowing its focus, Memoria is able to deliver something special while also hopefully avoiding the ire of Square Enix. “The fact that this is a non-playable project definitely makes it easier for us to tailor the experience in a way that would truly allow the audience to be fully immersed in the world without having to worry about technical limitations,” Eder tells me. “Creating actual functional gameplay is a completely different ball game, one that we never had any intention of even discussing given the copyright limitations. This gives us a lot of leeway with how we are going to portray the world of Gaia in terms of character interaction, camera movement, [and] scene transitions. We have a lot of cool plans for the near future - please look forward to it!”

As for the sad truth of fan projects like this often being wiped from existence by publishers throwing out cease and desist letters, Eder is confident that Memoria occupies a niche where this won’t happen. It’s not a commercial or even playable product - it’s a piece of fan art, albeit an endlessly elaborate one. If the tides were to change, Eder believes companies should welcome the enthusiasm for experiences like this.

“If I were to be completely honest, I think it could be a potentially brilliant decision by Square Enix to do something wildly unexpected and invest in a project like this,” Eder states. “There's a considerable amount of hype, talent, motivation, and pure, unadulterated passion behind it. It's not something I would expect, but I think it could be incredibly helpful in regaining some of the trust and reverence that this legendary company was known for during its golden years.”

(source)

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Strike a Chord (Gavin x MC)

Summary: Gavin learns to face the music.

Prompt: First time they saw each other cry.

Notes: This was part of @belovedstill ‘s New Fandom February event :) so it’s my first fic for MLQC and my fav Gavvy boi (just in time lol) <33 The prompt was also provided by @stehkotori ‘s collaborative writing event ‘Our Firsts’! (Both from discord). Also, do yourself a favour and PLEASE go check out these lovely ladies’ blogs, they are extremely talented and hardworking and I weep a little thinking about it hahah, I promise you won’t regret it!!!💛

Word count: ~2000

(Psst, if you wanna have an idea of what the piece MC plays in this sounds like, I imagined something like this: youtube / spotify) 

***

Another day, another pair of knuckles striking another face, painting another cheekbone red, another eye stained purple.

Gavin stepped out of the teacher’s office, clicking the door shut and sighing as he dragged his feet away. He studied his red and bloodied knuckles as he wandered through the hallways, grimacing as he ran his fingers along a particularly nasty cut.

There was a slight tremor in his hand, the effect of the pure adrenaline that had coursed through his body finally catching up with him. He heavily fell against a locker for a moment, surveying the golden-dipped leaves that whirled around the tattered bench across the path from him. The inevitable crash hit him, like waves against rocks on the shore. He should be going back to class now, he thought, and he almost entertained the idea until piano music began to fill the hollow hallway. The ethereal echo sang to him, calling for him in his temporary haze. A siren in a sea storm.

His budding curiosity got the better of him as his unsteady legs carried him towards the music. It wasn’t unusual to hear students practising during school hours, yet it often wasn’t as pleasant on the ear as it was now.

Gavin wandered past each practise room, only offering a quick glance into each one. All were empty except for one, and his stomach flipped as he did a double take.

It was her. Of course. How had that not been his first thought when the music started playing? Only her music had the power to captivate him so completely.

Rose brushed his cheeks as he found himself staring, yet he was physically incapable of breaking the gaze that focussed in on her hands, as long but delicate fingers danced tenderly across the keys.

It took Gavin a minute longer than it maybe should have to pick up on the subtle glisten that rolled down her cheek and the occasional jerk of her shoulders. She was crying, and the tears continued to run with every second that Gavin remained on the other side of the glass, helpless.

Except he wasn’t, not really. He could walk in there right now and comfort her. It would take no more than ten steps and he would be there for her, just like she was for him the last time she played. How could it be that something which had saved him before was now tormenting her?

Gavin pondered as reached for the door handle, the cool metal against his palm bringing a prominent reality to what he was about to do, and he started to question himself. Whether she would really want him in a vulnerable moment like this, whether he would actually be able to comfort her in the way she needs.

In a rare moment of weakness, Gavin decided he didn’t want to know.

So he walked away from her song, heavy with guilt but heavier with doubt. He would watch over her, like he silently promised her he would, but it was better for both of them this way. He didn’t need to be personally involved to look out for her, and she needn’t bother herself with him.

After all, she was a girl whose hands left subtle fingerprints on keys, whilst his left bruises on skin.

***

She defeatedly slid down the wall and swiped the back of her hand against her brow, wiping away the sweat from her efforts.

Gavin followed close behind, three boxes stacked high in his arms and not even a glisten on his face. His eyes tracked down to find hers, a chuckle escaping his lips at the state he found her in, “Done already? We’ve not even brought up the kitchen stuff.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Gavin couldn’t help but laugh again when she completely sank to the floor, her hand pathetically waving an imaginary white flag in mock surrender. He placed the boxes down, “Okay, I hear you. We’ll take a break before we bring up the rest.”

“You always know what to say to make my heart flutter, Officer.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, but the curving of his lips followed swiftly after. He managed to pull her up to her feet, wrapping her arms around his waist before moving the damp wisps of hair out of her face, “Actually, I have something to show you.”

“Oh?”

He smiled, “Mhm. Come on, let’s have a look round.”

He laced his fingers with hers as they wandered through each room, mentally placing each piece of furniture. The vase that she had bought from the market on one of their first dates would look best on the windowsill, and the lucky elephant figurine that Minor got them as a housewarming gift would beautifully compliment the books on the shelf, standing proudly above the fireplace. The pair couldn’t restrain the smiles that crept up their faces or the occasional squeeze of their intertwined hands. Little pieces of them started to fill the space before they were even out of the boxes, their future unfolding before them.

Gavin stopped her before the conservatory, the curtains drawn and the door locked.

She raised an eyebrow, “Gavin?”

He said nothing, he simply unlocked the door and led her into the bright room. Her eyes took a second to adjust, but when they did her jaw fell slack, her eyes widening.

Standing there splendidly in the centre of the room was a sleek grand piano. There was not a fingerprint or smudge to be seen on its surface, completely untainted, as if it had always been there. Untouched, waiting patiently for her melody.

She looked to Gavin then, unable to formulate words as tears pricked her eyes. She stumbled over a few words of disbelief before Gavin chuckled, taking mercy on the girl, “Somebody owed me a favour, managed to settle on this. Isn’t she a beauty?”

She nodded, her smile reaching her eyes as she lunged towards Gavin, practically leaping into his arms. He caught her, he always did. Enveloping her in his arms, he held her closer, nuzzling into her neck as she spewed her gratitudes.

“Anything for you,” he said, pulling back and looking into her eyes before pressing his lips against her forehead, “Play me something?”

She nodded enthusiastically, plonking herself onto the seat. Gavin slid up next to her, noticing the instant shift in her energy as she admired the keys. She became serene, focussed, pondering over what song she should play for him. With the slight curve of her lips and a glint in her eye, her fingers began to move.

Within the first few seconds, Gavin felt his heart drop.

It was the song.

Not the song that had saved him all those years ago; not the one that had pushed him over the edge, but the one that he heard as he fell for the second time -- fell deeper in love with her. The first real snippet of her that he got; the first time he wanted to hold her, protect her from whatever caused her tears to run. It showed her vulnerability, an intimate moment formed between them unbeknownst to her.

He was so lost in her song that he only registered the tear long after it had fallen. One perfect drop, sliding down his cheekbone to lay rest at the point of his chin, before falling into his shirt. He tried to blink away the remaining moisture in his eyes, but only when he saw the glisten of droplets on her eyelashes did he stop himself.

Here she was, emotionally bare before him, unguarded and unafraid. A piece of music so personal played so freely, for him. The simple idea that he was trusted enough, that she felt safe enough, to be this vulnerable with him and let him into this sanctuary she had created made his eyes burn more, but now he didn’t care. They were on a path to a deeper, more vulnerable place in their relationship with this song, and he would meet her half way.

When her fingers seized, they finally looked at each other, sparkling pool staring into sparkling pool. There was a tender, warm silence shared between them before they erupted in giggles, palms wiping away the aftermath of their shared emotion.

She softly brushed the hair that obstructed the gold of his eyes and cupped his cheek, guiding his gaze to fall on hers, “I know why I’m crying, but what’s got you all upset, hm? You never let me see you cry.”

Gavin placed his hand over hers, leaning into her touch, “I’ll only tell you if you go first.”

She told him it was a song her grandfather had composed - for her. It told the story of her childhood, her growing up. She would often hear snippets of it when she visited, always in the background, the soundtrack of her youth. The first time she heard it in full was after he had passed, having left her the score to do with what she pleased. The first time she had heard it in full, was the same time Gavin had heard it in full. Completely unknowingly, by chance, an act of fate.

He could hear it now. The piece was absolutely riddled with her. Everything she was, and everything she became. This song, it was her.

Perhaps that was what pulled him in all those years ago in the barren school hallway. In fact, he was certain that was it. That song was what tied the knot in the rope they held between them, pulling him to shore every time he drifted away.

It was the second time he had been saved by her song, and he was saved every moment after.

“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve heard this song before? The day you played it in the music room?” he asked, her eyes widening at his confession. He continued, “I saw you, and nearly came in but...I was too much of a coward to go to you. I should have-”

He stopped when she threw her arms around him, burying her face into the crook of his neck and taking in his clean, fresh scent. He was so silly sometimes.

“You know, after I finished playing that day, I felt a huge wave of relief and...comfort. I thought it must have been the release from all the crying, but from that day I couldn’t help but feel that someone was watching out for me, protecting me. I assumed it was my grandfather looking down, but that never felt right. It didn’t feel like him,” she pulled back, meeting his eyes once again, “But I know now. It was you, wasn’t it? You didn’t need to come in, I felt it. I knew you were there, and that was the greatest comfort I have ever felt. You have a way of doing that, you know,” she rested her head on his shoulder, “Making people feel safe.”

Gavin could hardly keep it together, but he held on long enough to wrap an arm over her and pull her close, planting a long kiss on the top of her head. He focussed on the feeling of her against him, reminding himself that she was there, that he had truly found his way back to her. That, after all his years of doubt and bitter regret, he had never actually failed her.

That was his new favourite song. Not because it saved him, but because it saved her -- saving them.

***

Thank you so much for reading!! Have a lovely day <33

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | The Breakfast Club (Hughes, 1985)

This review contains spoilers.

The fact is I've been feeling a bit under the weather over the last few days. I needed something comforting, unchallenging, whose rhythms I knew like the back of my hand so I could de-stress, expand in my couch and feel my way through the movie without having to think about it too hard. Seeing The Breakfast Club pop up on Netflix, I decided to give it another viewing, although it's probably a strange choice given my history with the movie. For one, I didn't grow up in the '80s. I was born in 1991 and was of high school age in the 2000s, although I guess nostalgia works in twenty-year circles and this movie has lingered in the public imagination as a definitive portrayal of high school life. (I first became aware of the movie when my middle school art teacher jokingly threatened the class with a weekend detention. "You ever seen The Breakfast Club?" He thankfully didn't follow through.)

But it's also a movie I've found a bit frustrating, with passages of greatness undermined by its adherence to commercial demands. I was perhaps hoping to wrestle again with its contradictions, even though I've revisited it a number of times and come away feeling the same, and in my weakened state I was unlikely to put up much of a fight. (I don't really follow sports, so I'll let you pick out your own analogy. Mike Tyson versus Evander Holyfield's ear? Sure, let's go with that. I'll play the ear.) I will concede that as I was recuperating, I found it easier to be won over by the musical interludes. These are pretty obvious commercial concessions, but at the same time, I think it captures that uniquely energizing feeling of having a song stuck in your head and feeling like it's running through you, like you're a character in a movie. (You might even say it evokes the feeling of being the "dude", like the track "I'm The Dude", featured in the scene where Emilio Estevez gets high, does a bunch of cartwheels and shatters a few windows.) And I suppose I've grown fonder of Wang Chung since my last viewing, thanks to spending more time with their soundtrack for To Live and Die in L.A. I suppose these gestures blend more easily into the DNA of John Hughes' next film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (which is another reliable comfort watch), but I've warmed up to them here. (After having recently become obsessed with the suspenders dancing musical number from RRR, I can't help but notice how limited these characters' dance moves are, but they're also, y'know, teenagers, so I suppose I will let it slide.)

And I think the movie does capture the anxieties and charged emotions of being a teenager, even if its style can sometimes clash with the naturalism of the writing and the performances. I think most of us have known characters like this and perhaps see a bit of us in one or more of them. (Which likely explains its potency as comfort food, doubly familiar not just through cultural osmosis but also real world experience.) As a high schooler, I was somewhere between Anthony Michael Hall and Ally Sheedy, a do-gooder and attempted overachiever crossed with a weirdo making halfassed gestures towards eccentricity. Although as I've grown, I've probably shifted in Sheedy's direction, as I had nowhere near the aptitude nor the work ethic to keep overachieving in the real world. The weirdo has won. (Of course, Hughes' perspective is predominantly white, so there are probably limitations in how much I see of myself in this movie as a brown kid who went to a mostly white high school, not that I would consider that a failing of his by any means. I don't think there's a problem in writing what you know, and I think Hughes captures this exact socioeconomic milieu quite well.)

A few years ago, Molly Ringwald wrote an article for The New Yorker about revisiting the movie with her daughter. She ruminates on the movie in light of the Me Too movement, and grapples with how the movie and Hughes' other work could be so clear eyed and compassionate towards the feelings of teenage girls yet throw in blatantly insensitive gestures. (They key moment she cites in this movie is the upskirt shot of her character when Judd Nelson is hiding underneath the desk.) It's a great piece and I recommend you give it a read. As someone who's found a lot of social-justice-minded pop culture thinkpieces to be embarrassingly reductive, I think Ringwald's piece tackles the subject with a refreshing level of nuance.

I don't think Hughes is a capital-M misogynist and I don't think Ringwald intends to paint him as such, merely to suss out these contradictions and the way the camera and the writing (or even different parts of the screenplay) can act at cross purposes in fostering or interrogating these attitudes, and bring into focus how someone could be so sensitive as a filmmaker yet have such glaring blindspots. (She brings up a number of elements in Sixteen Candles, which definitely did not go down well the few times I watched the movie.) I suppose there's some truth in reflecting the gaze of the overly sexually-minded mentality of teenage boys, although I think the movie reflects on the overall idea of toxic masculinity more potently with its portrayal of the Estevez character, who seemingly embodies strong, admirable traits, but is pushed by his father to hide any semblance of weakness. (I suppose Sheedy captures his fears most succinctly: "When you grow up, your heart dies.") And the bullying and sexual posturing between Nelson and Hall certainly rings true.

Because this is such an iconic movie, and these actors will be forever associated with these roles, it's fun to consider this movie in the context of their careers, and maybe pretend that they played the same character in all their movies. Most jarring here would be Nelson, who borders on grandpa vibes these days, while Estevez' jock contrasts starkly with the snot nosed punks he played in Repo Man and Maximum Overdrive. I'll happily let Sheedy have her eccentricities after she helped save the world from nuclear holocaust in Wargames, and it's easy to see why the dorky kid played by Anthony Michael Hall toughened up into a muscular meathead in Halloween Kills. Yet its hard to think of Ringwald outside of her Hughes movies, having crystallized into an embodiment of a certain set of teenage emotions. (And whoever promoted Paul Gleason's dumbass principal to an LAPD captain deserves to have their ass fired.) I don't really have a point here, other than the fact that the cast is so iconic that it's hard to picture anyone else in these roles, especially the other actors who were considered earlier in development. Imagine Estevez, John Cusack and Nicolas Cage in the role played by Nelson, and it's hard to see them nailing that exact blend of aggrieved roughneck insouciance. (Cage perhaps could have come closest, but I think of him in this era as maybe a little too nice for the character.)

And after that digression, I must awkwardly pivot back to the fact that the one thing I still don't like about the movie is its ending. Over the course of its hour and a half or so runtime, we see these characters break out of their shells and the confines imposed on them by their social strata and the high school ecosystem, only for the weird girl to actually be secretly conventionally attractive and fall for the jock, and for the nerd to do everyone's homework. I suppose there's a bit of truth to this, in that these kids are still likely to go back to how they were and a single weekend was unlikely to change all that much about their lives and how they saw and interacted with each other, but the attempt to package this into a feel-good ending continues to not sit right with me. I suppose however, that I might be additionally sore because I see a lot of myself in the nerd, but with a dash of Nelson's antisocial tendencies, so I very much would sabotage this gesture towards false unity. "Yabadabadoo, fuck all y'all, write your own motherfuckin' essays. Signed, Anthony Michael Hall." Yes, I'd break character to sign my name. Until the next rewatch.

[yuthoe]

Day 22: Reunion (MONSTA X: Yoo Kihyun)

TODAY'S LATE PROMPT FOR MTM IS:

Day 22: Fake Dating

ah yes, one of the favorite tropes in fanfic and i did not do it justice at all lmao. truthfully i was really excited about this, but the fic took a left somewhere and grew its own mind or smth. i think the poor writing is a combination of burnout and getting really distracted lmao.

tried to make kihyun the savage guy that he is, but still polite and considerate and i think i did that???? question mark???? please tell me what you thought about this lmao, i've never been to a high school reunion (except for my grandma's) and will never go to one anytime soon.

PAIRING: Yoo Kihyun x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff, mild angst. WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, swearing. WORD COUNT: 1,769.

---

“Act natural,” you say as you smooth down the lapels of your friend’s coat, dust some lint off the shoulders. “Like, just act like normal. We just have to say hi to a few people and then go after an hour or something.”

Kihyun is looking you over as well, straightening out the sleeves of your shirt and making sure your hair is nice and styled and perfect. “I’m taking that as a go signal to tease you in front of everyone then, gotcha.”

You roll your eyes and take his hand, tugging him towards the glass door of the events hall. “Very funny, but you know what? These people might buy it even more, so go ahead.”

He intertwines your fingers as he pushes the door open for you. There’s a smirk on his face that says you’re going to regret what you just said. “If you say so," he says, as you pull him along with you.

Everything is decorated like a senior prom from the early 2000s--balloons everywhere, streamers hung up on the walls, a disco ball suspended in the middle of the room. There's a stage set up at the far wall, and popular tracks from your high school days play softly on the sound system. People are already mingling, table hopping when they see a familiar face.

You go to the small registration booth off to the side, Kihyun in tow, and sign on the space next to your name, walking away quickly to find a table. It's easy to weave through the thin crowd to your spot, and thankfully no one goes up to talk to you as you settle in.

A relieved sigh escapes your lips as you deflate against the seat; Kihyun chuckles at the sight.

"Why are you so nervous? You were so confident when you asked me out,” he says, smirking at your flustered state.

“Hey,” you counter, sitting up straight and pointing at him. There’s a smile of embarrassment threatening to crawl up your face, but you force it down. “This isn’t a date. I didn’t ask you out—I respectfully asked if you could come with me to my high school reunion and pretend we’re dating. There’s a difference.”

He tilts his head and laughs. “Okay, fine, this isn’t a date. But you’re shaking like a hamster, dude. What’s got you so jittery?”

Before you can open your mouth to say something smart, a yell of your name behind you makes you stop. Suddenly a flurry of pink silk ruffles envelops you, cold metal bracelets press against your face and neck, and a tinnitus-inducing squeal is blasted in your ear.

“OMG, I can’t believe you made it!” The offending classmate plops down the seat beside you and… you can’t say you remember her. You know you have a questionable memory, but you can’t recall anyone with a scarily-toothy smile and long acrylic nails. “I was wondering if you were gonna show today, I missed you!”

You smile warily. “Yeah, I thought I’d stop by, just for a bi—,”

“And who is this with you?” she interrupts, gaze fixed on your friend now.

Kihyun still has a polite smile on, eyebrow raised and patiently waiting for you to introduce him. You meet his eyes and take a steadying breath.

“This is, uh. Kihyun. My boyfriend.”

Your batchmate immediately extends a hand out to him. “Hi there! I’m Danhee. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Kihyun grasps her hand and shakes it firmly. “Likewise.”

Danhee (apparently, that’s her name. Still doesn’t ring a bell.) turns back to you, props an elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand. “So what have you been up to lately?”

“Oh, you know, nothing much,” you say, twiddling your thumbs under the table. “Work’s keeping me busy, mostly. It’s pretty—,”

“Great! How’d you two meet?” Her eyes are sparkling, in that menacing way you’re familiar with when someone is hunting for gossip. “Probably work, right? I know Y/N isn’t that outgoing so I doubt—,”

“You know what, I’m gonna go get a drink.” You turn to Kihyun, desperate to get away. “You want a drink, Kihyun? Cool, I’ll get you something.” The chair screeches as you push away from the table and make a beeline for the buffet.

The air conditioning helps cool down your flaming face as you leave to get some reprieve from the suffocating air of the table. No matter how much you wrack your brain you can’t seem to remember anyone named Danhee; maybe she was in another class and part of the popular clique, a group you tended to stay away from.

You take a deep breath, surveying the array of finger food and wonder briefly what the main dishes are. The arrangement is no different from the ones you’ve seen at company parties—save maybe for the small picket signs that have slang from your high school days speared into some of the food. Despite looking delicious, you feel nauseous at the thought of taking a bite.

The drinks corner offers coffee, the kind that tries to pass off as Americano but ends up tasting more like candy because people keep putting too much sugar in it. It’s what you and Kihyun call “conference coffee” and shit on for the entirety of the conference you’re attending, even as you keep drinking it because there’s usually no other choice. Water is an option, as well as a fruit punch of some kind. If you’re being honest, you’d really like a beer right now, but you know the alcohol won’t come out until later.

In addition to the mound of paperwork you forced yourself to finish earlier, this week has just been plain exhausting. You’d hoped that coming to the reunion would help you relax, but apparently not.

Ice cubes clink as they go down the tall glasses. The coffee, however sugary it turns out to be, still smells heavenly and wakes you up some. You water both servings down a bit, if only to tamp down the syrupy sweetness.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says, hand coming down to rest on your shoulder. Kihyun moves into your line of vision, brows slightly scrunched. “You okay there?”

You don’t answer, thinking of words to say that won’t make you look pathetic in front of your work partner. You’re usually great at explaining and justifying your actions to your superiors, but words fail you this time.

So you just shrug and hand him his drink. “Can’t say for sure.” You take a sip and cringe; your mouth feels like it’s coated in a thick layer of sugar. Kihyun watches you and decides wisely to put his drink down, but pours two glasses of water.

“Do you know her?” he asks, concentrating on the drinks.

“Danhee? Nah. I mostly avoided her type back then. Being around them made me uncomfy.”

“‘Cuz she looks like a part of the Plastics from Mean Girls?”

You scoff. “No,” you say, but smile all the same as you walk back to your table. “Because I was a loner and operated on the mindset of ‘I’m not like other girls’ throughout high school.”

Kihyun laughs loud. “God, I didn’t think you were the type.”

“Unfortunately, yeah.” You sigh as you sit back down. “Thankfully outgrew that in college, though. Turns out being surrounded with a lot of open-minded people does something to your personality, and,” you open your arms, presenting yourself to Kihyun’s amused smile. “Now you have me, your beloved hardworking partner that throws snark at you everyday.”

If anything, his grin gets wider. Kihyun raises his glass of water, and you toast. “I’m proud of you for becoming so mature.” He takes a drink, making faces like he’s downing whiskey instead of regular water. “Although, apparently not mature enough to just ask me out plain and simple.”

You want to strangle him, you really do.

He’s right, though. Part of the reason why you invited him as your plus one is for moral support and to show people that the wallflower can also nab a man as great as Kihyun. But the other reason is that you’ve wanted to ask Kihyun on a date, but just didn’t know how to without embarrassing yourself.

You sigh and take a swig of your water. “Yeah, well, can you blame me, though? We always keep professional at work and I barely see you outside the building, so I haven’t really gotten a chance to ask.” You’re not lying—Kihyun being here is only possible because you left the building at the same time last week and asked him then before you chickened out.

He tilts his head in assent and takes another sip before crossing his arms on the table to whisper at you. “How about we make this a date, then?”

You raise an eyebrow, smiling like you can’t believe he suggested such a ridiculous thing. “What—here? My high school reunion that I only invited you to because I didn’t want to be alone?”

And maybe it’s the trick of the light, but you think you see his eyes go soft. “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not ideal, but we’re here anyway. There’s free food, shitty coffee, and some entertainment.” He tilts his head to the stage, and you follow his gaze to where a couple of your batchmates are discussing something, mics in their hands. “Whether it’s the good kind of entertainment or the cringy kind though, we’ll find out soon,” you hear him whisper.

In theory, you have nothing to lose. Nothing really to hide. Perhaps the worst part of the night passed when you had that panicked moment with Danhee earlier, and all that’s left is to enjoy the night. You can still leave in an hour or two like you planned, but now with a higher chance of getting a few drinks afterwards, too.

So you make your decision and look back at him. “All right, Yoo Kihyun,” you say. “You’ve got yourself a date.”

His smile morphs into a smirk, the trademark confident grin making a small shudder run down your spine. You try to keep your composure as he slides a hand to your thigh. “Perfect. Wanna bet you’ll last an hour before you want to leave?” His fingers are massaging your knee, soft hands gentle on the meat of your thigh.

You scoff, grabbing at his hand to make him stop. “Deal. I’ll bet you an hour and a half.”

And before you turn your attention back to the stage, you see his smirk again, excited for the challenge.

[kcowgill]

I guess there’s a whole side of me that never gets much light here, since I’ve barely done anything regarding music since around the time my first kid was born. Not directly, but indirectly related.

I actually got my musical start on 5th grade playing trumpet. Loved it so much I convinced my mom to BUY me a trumpet instead of renting one from the local band instrument rental store. She did, but on the condition I stick with it through 12th grade. At some point I lost interest and started noodling around on a piano, probably sophomore year in high school. Someone convinced someone to either buy me or let me save up for a keyboard. Played in a band or two. Junior year I started noodling around on a guitar. Bought a super cheap one, pow-wow’d with a good buddy who was also learning to play guitar, learned super basic stuff.

At some point I decided that I didn’t really want to go to college, but I felt pressure (whether internal or external I don’t recall) to go, so I figured I’d go for something I enjoyed - music. Started piano lessons between Junior & Senior year, auditioned for entrance into the Ball State University music program, got accepted, even got a small scholarship (tiny!).

Once in college, a friend of a friend had a cover band and needed a bass player. I found a cheap one and joined the band. I had also decided my 2nd semester to drop the music major because I assumed my only option after graduating with a piano performance major would be the (what I assumed would be the) only position available back in my hometown, the pianist for the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra. Whether or not that’s true, that’s why I dropped it.

Sophomore year and beyond I started playing guitar for cover bands. At some point I lucked into a job teaching guitar (and more) lessons at a music store in Anderson, Indiana. I got to teach guitar and bass, and even picked up mandolin, banjo, and a little “fiddle” as I kept ahead of beginner students who wanted instruction in those instruments.

I honestly don’t recall at what point I started also learning to read music (instead of tab) for guitar and playing “classical” pieces, but it was probably at some point in the early 90s.

After college I got a few side jobs teaching guitar and bass here and there, and was in an occasional band too, up until the mid 2000′s. I played guitar for an original band with tiny gigs and dreams as big as the sky. We eventually saved up some cash and paid a small studio for recording time over what we thought would end up being four four day weekends to record an album. While we got the bulk of the recording done, the mixing and the re-takes would go on for mooooooonths. It ended up removing the joy of music from my heart because the band leader had impossibly high ideals about how things should sound and it was just an altogether miserable experience.

Then yeah my son was born in 2008 and I had a great excuse to stop going over to the makeshift recording studio setup in the clammy basement of the drummer’s house. Ended shelving all my guitars and gear I’d collected over the years, not to be touched until over a year into a pandemic.

Now I’ve got most of them (I’ve got one more I need a stand for) out and ready to grab at a moment’s notice behind my desk:

[tricktster]

Is TST for the satanic temple

It is merely a happy happy happy coincidence, but don’t take that to mean that they don’t have my full-throated support and admiration.

Since you kids are on tumblr, I’m guessing a lot of you already know that The Satanic Temple (TST) is not, in fact, a group of people who worship Satan. For those of you who might (understandably) have TST confused with an an actual Satan-worshipping entity, rest assured - supporting TST requires no actual Satan worship - or anything worship, it’s a “non-theistic religion.” 

So, you might be wondering, what’s the point of a purported Satanic church that explicitly does not believe in, nor worship, Satan? 

Great rhetorical question! Thank you for the invitation to geek out! In this essay I will explain why The Satanic Temple is an incredibly clever maneuver to protect the individual rights and liberties of people in the United States of America, and why you should all, regardless of religious belief, stan them. I am sorry! This is going to be a long one! I’m going to use a page break!

(Apologies if anything I say here is really basic obvious stuff that you already know. I will probably cover some familiar ground, but I didn’t get taught about any of this in high school beyond a few throwaway paragraphs in a textbook, so I’m writing with an audience of ‘me in high school’ in mind.)

As you know, the founding fathers did some pretty wild shit when they decided on what the United States of America was going to look like, and among the wildest was the decision that America would not have a state religion. I cannot express to you guys how significant this decision was in shaping American culture... soooo I won’t try because it’s beside the point and this is already going to be way too long. All you really need to take away is the following:

The U.S. constitution provides both that religion and government are to be kept separate, and that the free exercise of religion is a fundamental individual right, and those portions of the constitution have pissed a lot of people off over the last 244 years.

So there’s actually three parts of the bill of rights that are in play here. In the First Amendment, we have the Establishment Clause, and the Free Exercise Clause:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion [The Establishment Clause], or prohibiting the free exercise thereof [The Free Exercise Clause]; or abridging the freedom of speech [...]”

These clauses were the only part of the Constitution that touched on religion until the 14th amendment was ratified in 1868. For those of you who are curious about the timing of a new amendment in 1869 and are as bad with significant dates as I am, the Civil War ended in 1865, and, as such, it’s worth noting that the purpose of the 14th Amendment was to guarantee equal civil and legal rights to Black people. I am not the first person to note that uh, we are clearly still working on that.

Anyway, for our purposes, the pertinent part of the 14th amendment is the Equal Protection Clause:

“No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Okay, very broadly, here’s what each clause actually does:

The Establishment Clause says that the US government cannot sponsor any religion, or involve itself in religion to the benefit of one religion over another. 

The Free Exercise clause says that the US government cannot stop someone from holding a religious belief (or force them to adhere to another religious belief)

The Equal Protection Clause prohibits discrimination on the basis of religious belief

These all look pretty great on paper, but in practice, enforcing them has been wildly hit or miss. I’m going to discuss why, so I’ll say up front that none of this should not be construed as an attack on Christianity. Religious faith is intensely personal, and I want to emphasize that I am in no way advocating for adherents to the Christian faith to be unable to practice that faith. I am a sincere advocate for everyone to be able to freely practice their own religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and that’s exactly what’s at issue here - when one religion is positioned above all others, anyone who does not believe in that particular religion is impacted detrimentally.

So with that caveat in place, it’s important to recognize the following: the United States is, and has always been, a majority Christian nation. 65% of Americans identified as Christian in 2019, which is a historic low. Even ten years back, it was closer to 85%. In accordance with the demographics of the US, Christianity is, if anything, over-represented in US government. 85.4% of US congressmen identify as Christian. 82 out of the 100 senators identify as Christian (I’m not counting members of congress or the senate who identify as members of the Church of Latter Day Saints in those numbers). Furthermore, every single president has identified themselves as Christian - the spiciest America has gotten in re: the religious beliefs of a POTUS was JFK, who was, you know, Catholic.

This is important, because it directly impacts how we interpret what “separation of church and state,” “free exercise of religion,” and “nondiscrimination on the basis of faith” actually mean. When a country is predominantly comprised of people who share the same faith, that faith becomes part of the shared cultural concept of national identity: even though the US is, in practice, relatively diverse in terms of ethnicities and religious faiths (as far as countries go), if you ask someone on the street to imagine an American, they are probably going to imagine a white dude who loves Flag and also Jesus. That national identity is reflected in the country’s chosen representatives, and in return, in the legislation passed by those representatives and the behavior expressly condoned by the government as a whole. The end result of all of this is that in the United States of America, Christianity and the exercise of government frequently intersect.

Take the late forties and early fifties. WWII is over, and two global superpowers have emerged that are at diametrical positions; there’s our old capitalist pal the US in one corner, and in the other, the godless, socialist menace of the USSR. I’m being silly and hyperbolic here, but not about the godless bit: the USSR was officially an athiest state, and the government forcibly converted its citizens to atheism. So, the US squints at this and swings hard in the opposite direction; this is a Christian nation, we are sticking “under god” in the pledge of allegiance, we are putting Ten Commandment sculptures in front of our courthouses, we are mandating prayer in school, and if you have an issue with any of that, you are not a patriotic American.

Some of that stuff from the 50s still exists today (“under god” is still kicking around), but a lot more of it is essentially outlawed thanks to the branch of government that I haven’t mentioned yet, the federal judiciary. How this played out was essentially that someone would be impacted by state-sponsored Christianity, they would sue, and their case would eventually be appealed up to the level of the Supreme Court, who would look at the Constitution, admit that it’s pretty unequivocal about the whole separation of church and state thing, and bar the state sponsored religious practice at issue, or at the very least ensure that the state was not sponsoring one faith to the exclusion of others. So, to return to our ten commandments in front of the courthouse or nativity scene outside of a government building; (I’m really simplifying things here but this is the gist) the court has repeatedly decided, those are fine, as long as you give fair play to any other religion that wants to erect their own religious display there too. It’s either that all religions have an equal opportunity to be represented, or no religion does.

I know, this is supposed to be about why The Satanic Temple is cool. We’re getting there.

Let’s jump ahead to the early 2000s. Bush Jr. is president, thanks in no small part to massive evangelical Christian support, and those evangelical Christians have some demands: they want schools to teach creationism, they’re gunning directly for reproductive rights, and they have had enough of this whole gay nonsense. A lot of legislation gets passed during the Bush era that gives the Evangelical base what they want, and among those big evangelical wins was on teaching intelligent design in schools. This didn’t happen everywhere, but some states basically said that intelligent design could be taught alongside evolution in public school science classes, and that evolution and intelligent design had to be portayed as equally valid theories.

Obviously, a lot people were upset about this, because... well, it’s science class. Among the people who thought this whole thing was bullshit was a guy named Bobby Henderson, who wrote an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in 2005. Referencing the Supreme Court decisions I discussed earlier (either all religious beliefs get equal play or none of them do), Bobby demanded that along with evolution and intelligent design, Kansas schools devote equal time to teaching the creation story of his religious faith, and if any of this is sounding familiar, that’s because Bobby described his religious faith as “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.”

The memetic potential of this argument was basically designed for the internet era, and it wasn’t too long before purported adherents to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was filing lawsuits that challenged all sorts of government practices that obviously skewed Christian. They were making classic reductio ad absurdum arguments; if it was ridiculous that the government should promote the message of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a given sphere, it was equally ridiculous that the government should promote the message of other religious faiths in that same sphere.

The whole pastafarian movement had one major weakness, however - it was expressly, deliberately silly. Nobody could mistake a Flying Spaghetti Monster argument to be made in good faith, and the courts used this to basically ignore FSM challenges that would otherwise be valid. Here’s what the Nebraska federal district court decided in the big Flying Spaghetti Monster case, Cavanaugh v. Bartlet:

“The Court finds that FSMism is not a ‘religion’ within the meaning of the relevant federal statutes and constitutional jurisprudence. It is, rather, a parody, intended to advance an argument about science, the evolution of life, and the place of religion in public education. Those are important issues, and FSMism contains a serious argument, but that does not mean that the trappings of the satire used to make that argument are entitled to protection as a ‘religion.’”

That’s the Pastafarian problem in a nutshell. They had great points, but they weren’t actually a religion, and that left the courts free to disregard their arguments by saying that they lacked standing. “Standing” is legalese for the concept of who is able to bring a lawsuit based on a particular act or law. This sounds esoteric, but it makes logical sense: If your neighbor gets hit by an ice cream truck, is injured, and is now hundreds of thousands of dollars in the hole for medical debt, he has standing to sue the ice cream truck driver. He suffered an injury that was caused by the ice cream truck driver, and the court has the ability to direct the ice cream truck driver to pay for his medical bills and pain and suffering etc. If you, on the other hand, decide to sue the ice cream truck driver because they ran over your neighbor, well, did you actually get injured? Would it being about any sort of justice if the ice cream truck driver had to pay you money? If the answer is no and you try to sue anyway, the court’s going to kick that lawsuit out.

Constitutional challenges often die because the person suing doesn’t have standing to bring the case. Remember how I mentioned earlier that “one nation under god” is still in the Pledge of Allegiance? A case about that actually got all the way to the Supreme Court, before it was tossed out for lack of standing - the problem was that a student’s father had brought the lawsuit, instead of the student herself. Likewise, the Flying Spaghetti Monster cases usually went nowhere because the courts would say “okay, you’re claiming that this law is trampling on your right to practice your chosen religion, but your religion is deliberately ludicrous. Your holy book was published in 2006 and heavily features a beer volcano. You don’t actually believe in any of this, so you haven’t actually suffered the harm that you’re claiming this legislation caused.”

So, uh, how the hell does an athiest challenge the constitutionality of laws like the FSM movement tried to without just getting tossed out for lack of sincerity?

Okay. Okay. We’re finally here. Let’s talk about The Satanic Temple.

In 2013, after witnessing how the FSM movement failed to accomplish meaningful change, Lucien Greaves realized that even though the basic concept of what FSM was trying to accomplish was solid, the issue was in its execution. If you wanted to challenge laws that unconstitutionally favored Christianity, you couldn’t be joking around about your fake religion; you had to play it absolutely straight.

What Greaves came up with is incredibly clever. He set about constructing a new religion for the purpose of using the FSM playbook without falling into the same judicial pitfalls. He made sure that the new religion would constitute an actual belief system in the eyes of the law, which involved identifying the mission and core articulable tenents of the religion. I’m quoting them both below because they’re cool as hell:

The Mission of The Satanic Temple

“The mission of The Satanic Temple is to encourage benevolence and empathy among all people, reject tyrannical authority, advocate practical common sense, oppose injustice, and undertake noble pursuits.

The Satanic Temple has publicly confronted hate groups, fought for the abolition of corporal punishment in public schools, applied for equal representation when religious installations are placed on public property, provided religious exemption and legal protection against laws that unscientifically restrict women's reproductive autonomy, exposed harmful pseudo-scientific practitioners in mental health care, organized clubs alongside other religious after-school clubs in schools besieged by proselytizing organizations, and engaged in other advocacy in accordance with our tenets.”

The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple

1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

3. One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.

4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Tenets aside, though, this next bit is what just delights me to my core with how crafty it is: Instead of making up his own religious text and history, he went directly to the Bible and said (I’m paraphrasing) “the historical foundation of The Satanic Temple is the exact same as the historical foundation of Christianity. We share the same holy book, and our faiths are grounded in the same tradition. Here’s the only difference: We believe with all sincerity that the character in that book who said ‘hey, try the apple, the pursuit of knowledge is worth rebelling against authority for’ is actually the good guy in the story, and although we are not a theistic organization, it is our sincere religious belief to comport ourselves in the manner espoused by the literary character Satan.”

Holy shit, guys. Holy shit, that is smart. He set up his religion so that you couldn’t attack it for being fake without also attacking Christianity for being fake! Simultaneously, he designed a religion that would reliably produce the perfect reductio ad absurdum argument- you want to display your ten commandment statue on public land? Okay, chill, but per the Constitution, we get equal play, so if you want those ten commandments, you’d better be cool with them sitting right next to our 3000 lb bronze statue of children gazing adoringly up at Baphomet:

Oh, wait, you don’t want to have that statue on government property? Cool. Totally fine. Just take your ten commandments slabs away too, and we’ll call it a truce.

The Satanic Temple exists to protect individual constitutional rights. Regardless of your own religious sentiment, it’s hopefully easy enough to see how incredibly shitty it would be to have your elected government promote religious beliefs that you do not share, to have religious sentiments that you find abhorrent expressly condoned by the government, or to have your own rights of expression and against discrimination constrained by a government that expressly santions only the religious beliefs of the majority, in spite of the concepts expressed in the United States Constitution. The only way to challenge an unconstitutional law is to sue, and it takes a lot of time, effort, and most of all resources to see a constitutional lawsuit through. Organized religion and government entities have a much easier time defending those cases than an individual does in suing them; by supporting The Satanic Temple, you’re directly evening the odds.

P.S. I know I talk a big game about how cleverly The Satanic Temple was designed, but you know how you can tell that it’s actually brilliant? The IRS granted it tax exempt status as a religious entity in 2019. Yup. Even with the IRS directly under the thumb of Donald J. Trump, a man desperate to maintain evangelical support, the IRS finally had to concede that they could not find any reason why The Satanic Temple shouldn’t be treated the exact same way as any other church. Angry that a Satanic entity doesn’t have to pay taxes on its income? Well, buddy, get ready to learn what megachurches get away with.